Batu Talam Candidates Shortlisted
In a move that is hailed as political masterstroke, BN today announced that they are going to field a dead person as their candidate for the upcoming Batu Talam by-election. “Our research revealed that dead people formed the largest group in the electoral roll for that constituency. Their voices have to be heard, they must be represented since they are the majority,” Adnan said in the news conference earlier today.
According to Prof. Kia Si Lang, an expert in dead voters and candidates from UM, the move will definitely ensure further BN majority. “Who would dare to vote against the dead?” he asked. The winner will be represented by a piece of wood during the Assembly sessions. “The rakyat can’t tell the difference because the assembly is filled with deadwoods anyway,” he added.
Three potential candidates have been shortlisted and efforts are being made to contact them through a well-known bomoh to assess their willingness. “As those guys have been dead since early 1960s, it is difficult to trace their whereabouts, but I will try my best,” bomoh Cari bin Hantu said during the conference. Efforts are on the way to contact Pontianak Binti Sundal, the top-choice candidate proposed by Wanita wing.
While the move is thoroughly unconventional, Election Commission does not object to the move. “As long as those names are in the electoral roll, they can also be registered as candidates,” EC spokesperson Undi bin Barisan clarified.
Elsewhere, the government announced that a state of emergency will not be declared in Johor because most Johoreans can swim anyway.
According to Prof. Kia Si Lang, an expert in dead voters and candidates from UM, the move will definitely ensure further BN majority. “Who would dare to vote against the dead?” he asked. The winner will be represented by a piece of wood during the Assembly sessions. “The rakyat can’t tell the difference because the assembly is filled with deadwoods anyway,” he added.
Three potential candidates have been shortlisted and efforts are being made to contact them through a well-known bomoh to assess their willingness. “As those guys have been dead since early 1960s, it is difficult to trace their whereabouts, but I will try my best,” bomoh Cari bin Hantu said during the conference. Efforts are on the way to contact Pontianak Binti Sundal, the top-choice candidate proposed by Wanita wing.
While the move is thoroughly unconventional, Election Commission does not object to the move. “As long as those names are in the electoral roll, they can also be registered as candidates,” EC spokesperson Undi bin Barisan clarified.
Elsewhere, the government announced that a state of emergency will not be declared in Johor because most Johoreans can swim anyway.
posted by BKC Review @ 6:33 PM
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