Pak Lah to resign

In a surprise move that is sure to send chill down the spines of pretty young women worldwide, Pak Lah earlier announced that he is stepping down in favor of Najib effective tomorrow. “They are replacing a sleeping prime minister with another ‘sleeping’ prime minister,” said Banyak bin Tidor, an analyst close to the PM’s office. While Pak Lah has been known to have his favorite sleeping spot, the huge chair in the meeting room, Najib doesn’t seem to have a favorite spot. “He is just kinda sleeping around,” En. Banyak told the BKC correspondent, who wrote this report on the condition of anonymity for fear of being picked up and sent to Yemen.

According to another reliable source in Putrajaya, movers have been busy moving stuff out of the fourth floor office since last night. The incoming PM doesn’t have a need for such office space. A renovation has been ordered and its interior will be turned into an exact replica of the famous Playboy mansion. “Once completed, it’ll be completely stocked with multinational bunnies that will surely make Hugh Hefner jealous,” En. Main bin Arnab said. “And all of them will be partial to anal play,” he added.

Meanwhile, in related anal news, our source at Bukit Aman revealed that Raja Petra will be saifuled in front of Rosmah if he doesn’t confess by tomorrow. Beyond that, PGK does not rule out the next move to altantuya him. “This will be the second time Rosmah got to watch someone being saifuled. The first time with Saiful himself being saifuled,” our source said.

Elsewhere, when asked to identify Pak Lah and Najib from a recent picture, presidential candidate Obama today said, “When you put songkok on a pig, it’s still a pig.”

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